Inconceivable!

A place to muse, to write, to laugh and perchance to dream . . . just kidding. Here's your portal to the world as you *should* know it.

Friday, April 07, 2006

What Would Marion Do?


Q. I see you have some sharply divided lines on the Cynthia McKinney issue (see "comments" under "Do you know who I am?!). How would Marion have handled a Capitol Police officer? And would he wear his pin?

A. Unfortunately the Congresswoman was forced to apologize. I say unfortunately, because as you all know I've been warming up my cell-phone-throwing skills since it seems to be a growing cultural phenomenon (see "Hold the Phone"). The brouhaha begs the question, though, what would Marion do if a Capitol policeman stopped him short as he tried to circumvent the metal detectors and head to his office? Would he have thrown a phone, or better yet, a punch? Would he have staged a sit in? Would he have inspired the citizenry of Washington to stage a major protest and support rally on his behalf?

All of the above are semi-plausible reactions from a man known to take action because, as you know he and I are both fond of reminding you-- he's a situationalist! For those of you unfamiliar, the exact quote is, "I'm a situationalist. I see the situation, and I react accordingly." Don't sleep on MB.

The actual answer is: none of the above. Those of you who remember the old metal detectors at the 13 1/2 Street entrance to the District Building must also remember one thing: the strong strided strut of Marion Barry's entrance to said building, which also always, always--no matter who was accompanying him-- included one thing. "How you doin' Fred, man?" and big smile and nod for the police guards who were there at the entrance to protect the building from another takeover like the one early in his career that resulted in several bullet wounds, including his own.

So, while I think that if Marion Barry was ever elected to Congress (I don't think Eleanor is really worried about this one) he would revert back to the Dashikis that made him famous, and he probably wouldn't wear his Congressional pin all the time. He would, however, know the name and face of ever single Capitol policeman assigned to protect him, because, as he is quick to point out, his "good ass-kickin foot" is starting to wear out.


Feel free to submit questions for future "What Would Marion Do?" colums. Management will review and sort submissions . . . and we reserve the right to edit for content and humor.

4 Comments:

  • At 10:50 AM, Blogger SS said…

    How come your heroes are alll law breakers. Don't you beleive in civil society? Maybe we should all smoke crack and cheat on our taxes, right after we rape all the woman and kill those different from us.

     
  • At 12:41 PM, Blogger mocha mayhem said…

    I think Super Sam thinks he's Chris Rock . . . sadly, he is not.

     
  • At 1:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Right on point. MB knew everyone in the city. He either gave them or a relative a job or he had been to their Bar-B-Q back in the day.

    Money Quote - "Don't sleep on MB."

    I love it.

    - GOLDIE

     
  • At 11:17 PM, Blogger SS said…

    Thank God I am not Chris Rock!!! He hates white people, and I am Mr. Whitey White, no matter what those others say.

     

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